Venaitura REWRITTENHere's the revised and rewritten script. The first 8 pages.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 1
PAGE ONE (three panels)
Panel 1. Large panel. Establishing shot of VENAITURA, a magnificent tower-esque fortress that is anchored in to the earth. This is a birds-eye view. The fortress is otherworldly, and not something that could have been built by man. It exudes a terribly violent aura that has killed the local flora and fauna for miles. The fortress is surrounded by a very rugged and mountainous terrain, with dangerous bogs seeping poisonous miasma spotted along the path leading in to its hellish entryway. Three barely recognizable figures are entering the fortress (or depending on how far away we're positioned, they don't need to be there at all.) Their details (if they're there) can't be recognized.
1 CAP: DEMON FORTRESS VENAITURA
2 CAP: I lead both of them in there knowing the dangers that would await us. I knew I had Reynaldo to rely on, but for how long could I keep this away from
VENAITURA CH 2 --Script--CHAPTER TWO: IN PURSUIT OF A COMMON CRIMINAL
PAGE SEVENTEEN. (four panels)
FERN is hopping along a LONG AND NARROW HALLWAY that brims with darkness. Although he finds it hard to see, he still persists in running to flee from the crazed BUIMA, having witnessed her might with his own eyes in the previous chapter.
PANT PANT PANT
OKAY, WRONG BUNCH! THOSE PEOPLE'RE CRAZY! I'D RATHER RUN IN TO A BUNCH OF CRAZED (AND STUPIDLY RICH) VILLAINS THAN THOSE DERNGED LUNATICS! DAMN IT!
AND I BET THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY GOOD MONEY, EITHER...!!!
Flashback. FERN thinks back to the incident in CHAPTER ONE where he appeared before BUIMA, AARON, and REY as a floating head.
AND OF COURSE MY MAGICS HAD TO FAIL THEN OF ALL TIMES! I SUCK AT THIS STUFF!
FERN SUDDENLY STOPS. He can hear voices behind him, BUIMA'S in particular. He's FROZEN with the intent on closely listening to distinguish who's tailing him.
WAIT, WHAT'S THAT?
VENAITURA --Manga Script--The world is Tsufanubra, home to Demons and Humans alike. It was not always this way, but past events lead to the joining of two vastly different races who, before that, were constantly at each others throats. It took a while for both of them to find comfort in one and others company, but when that time came, a small peacefulness swept over the land, and its people found joy and were without fear in life for the first time in what they had thought was an eternity.
In the past, Tsufanubra was home only to Humans. Its opposite, Arbunafust, housed the Demons. Both worlds were joined together in a symbiotic relationship, eternally keeping the others balance in check through the absorption and expulsion of negative (or dark) and positive (light) energies. It was not until a small rift formed between the two worlds that any one posed a threat to the other.
A long war followed. A multitude of First and Second-Level demons found need to explore this vast new world once given the opportunity, a