A Mother in Witch's ClothingChapter 1:
Adrian flushed the toilet, pulled up his dragon-pattern pyjamas, and scurried back to bed. He crawled hastily between the warm Tonka blankets and fondly recalled the minor hockey game he played that day.
There was a knock.
Adrian poked his head out of the blankets and skimmed the room. No monsters or aliens. Perhaps one of his toys had fallen on the floor? That had to be it.
The knocking steadily grew louder and more consistent. Adrian hopped out of bed and searched high and low. Nothing. If it wasn't coming from his room, then where? The hall? He snuck out to take a peek.
Still nothing. The knocking did get louder, but it wasn't coming from anywhere in particular. Then a passing thought jumped in to his head: what about the front door? Goosebumps speckled his arms.
Adrian creaked open his parents' door and stared in at them. "Dad?" he asked. There was no response. "Mom?" he asked again. They remained asleep. He
VENAITURA Rewritten. Ch.1 Pt-2Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 11
PAGE EIGHT (four panels)
Panel 1. Close up on Buima's diamond necklace. In this instance, we're seeing her necklace being cut offor rather, it has already been cut, and this occurs directly after. The two ends have just separated. It should be subtle, but the two pieces should be far enough apart for us to notice what's happening.
1 SFX: TEP
Panel 2. The largest panel on the page. Buima is knocked back by this incredible forceright off of her two feet! Her necklace has also been stolen by this same force. This is Fern, another of our leading characters, but for the time being he's invisible. Have the necklace trail back, perhaps. Maybe he's holding on to one end in a sloppy manner; just grab it and runthat kind of way.
2 BUIMA: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
3 SFX: SCHWOOOOOO
Panel 3. Both panel 3 and 4 are close up reaction shots of Aaron and Reynaldo respectively. They're shocked by Buima's sudden scream. This panel shows Aaron.
4 AARON: Buima?
Venaitura REWRITTENHere's the revised and rewritten script. The first 8 pages.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 1
PAGE ONE (three panels)
Panel 1. Large panel. Establishing shot of VENAITURA, a magnificent tower-esque fortress that is anchored in to the earth. This is a birds-eye view. The fortress is otherworldly, and not something that could have been built by man. It exudes a terribly violent aura that has killed the local flora and fauna for miles. The fortress is surrounded by a very rugged and mountainous terrain, with dangerous bogs seeping poisonous miasma spotted along the path leading in to its hellish entryway. Three barely recognizable figures are entering the fortress (or depending on how far away we're positioned, they don't need to be there at all.) Their details (if they're there) can't be recognized.
1 CAP: DEMON FORTRESS VENAITURA
2 CAP: I lead both of them in there knowing the dangers that would await us. I knew I had Reynaldo to rely on, but for how long could I keep this away from
VENAITURA CH 2 --Script--CHAPTER TWO: IN PURSUIT OF A COMMON CRIMINAL
PAGE SEVENTEEN. (four panels)
FERN is hopping along a LONG AND NARROW HALLWAY that brims with darkness. Although he finds it hard to see, he still persists in running to flee from the crazed BUIMA, having witnessed her might with his own eyes in the previous chapter.
PANT PANT PANT
OKAY, WRONG BUNCH! THOSE PEOPLE'RE CRAZY! I'D RATHER RUN IN TO A BUNCH OF CRAZED (AND STUPIDLY RICH) VILLAINS THAN THOSE DERNGED LUNATICS! DAMN IT!
AND I BET THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY GOOD MONEY, EITHER...!!!
Flashback. FERN thinks back to the incident in CHAPTER ONE where he appeared before BUIMA, AARON, and REY as a floating head.
AND OF COURSE MY MAGICS HAD TO FAIL THEN OF ALL TIMES! I SUCK AT THIS STUFF!
FERN SUDDENLY STOPS. He can hear voices behind him, BUIMA'S in particular. He's FROZEN with the intent on closely listening to distinguish who's tailing him.
WAIT, WHAT'S THAT?